This is article hit home for me.
Here is a snippet of the article and then my thoughts... I'd love to hear your thoughts, and just generate a conversation...
If Community Were A Safe Place to Fall Apart
BY OMID SAFI
READ FULL ARTICLE FROM ON BEING HERE
"Why do we celebrate together but suffer in silence?
It made me realize that we have no rituals for suffering, for breaking up, for hurting. I am not sure what those rituals would look like, but it does seem like something to seek.
How do we create a sense of community that makes it easier for us to reach out to one another to let each other know that we are struggling in the most intimate parts of our lives? That we can share our vulnerability and hurts more freely with one another?
How do we make it easier to ask for help and support, before things get so bad? When they have gotten so bad? Through the so-bad? And on to the beyond-the-so-bad?"
How do we support one another, truly, and when we need it most? Those who have a shittier hand dealt, who struggle the most, where do they fall when the chips are thrown?
It's interesting that our culture is this way - we're uncomfortable with the uncomfortable. And understandably... it's not comfortable... and we are most at home in our comfort... But there is a power in acknowledging pain, tough times. The struggle is real, as they say. And what about pushing ourselves past comfort and into the tough stuff that will actually encourage us to grow, to become more than our ego would ever let us, or past the fears that hold us down? How does this fit into the stuff that is even harder to deal with?
In the show Love Sick, (it's based in the UK), one guy throws himself a divorce party. Perhaps that is out of the norm, but it makes me curious how other places handle difficult things.. In another movie, * SPOILER ALERT* SKIP to next paragraph if you plan on seeing this move. Captain Fantastic, they dance and sing and celebrate the death of their mother in their own way that feels good to them...
We do celebrate death, in some way.. but it's based on mourning and sadness and doesn't often end in a real celebration of the happy times (at least in my family). Perhaps it depends on individual families traditions and expectations?
Is it the size of our communities that make it difficult to reach the heart of things? To form deeper connections to our support networks that will actually help to lift us up or keep us from drowning when times get tough? Is it simple human nature to be this way, to seek only comfortable or joyful things? To not want to deal with the unpleasant stuff? Is it a manners thing?
If we are to see, acknowledge and support others to push through their own struggles it would mean we ourselves should do the same or suffer living with the feelings of gilt, knowing that we ourselves are not living our fullest lives either? It would mean looking at ourselves in the mirror, genuinely, and for a long time. Like really looking. really looking into our own souls. Perhaps this is where the popularity of meditation comes in, it gives us the space to look deeply at ourselves and shifts our perspectives. But getting to that point can be scary in and of itself. Introspection would mean observing the world around us differently too...
Perhaps it's natural for us to shy away from others when we ourselves are in pain? And some of us may prefer to "suffer in silence" for a time or at least to process things on our own.. but time and time again it is other people who truly bring us back to where we need to be..... it's the social connections that make us feel needed, wanted, connected, purposeful... family and friendships that bring our life depth and love.....
.....lots of thoughts around this topic. Until then, keep believing in the power you already have within. <3
Onward & Upward,